That Reminds Me...

It is sometimes said that boys marry women like their mothers and girls marry men like their fathers. As an English major, I’ve read the Oedipus story a few too many times to think that any good could come of that. As much as I love my dad, I certainly did not go looking for a clone of him to marry, but it turns out that my husband of one year shares more with my father than just his name.

For starters, both are tall, handsome men with full heads of hair (no inherited male pattern baldness here) who maintain their slim builds despite a shared penchant for ice cream. But the similarities go beyond the physical.

Both are practicing Catholics who attend church regularly, which may be due in part to several years of Catholic schooling. Dad attended a Jesuit high school and college, while my husband was taught by nuns from kindergarten through eighth grade. Both occasionally merit the moniker of St. Paul for their extreme patience, which may mean they are headed for either sainthood or martyrdom (depending on whom you ask).

While their Catholic upbringings may account for similarities in their values, it is wholly unrelated to some of the other similarities I’ve noticed over the past few years. For example, neither one is an avid swimmer. Dad grew up in Brooklyn, my husband in a small town in western Iowa; thus, neither had easy access to the kind of pool at which I spent the better part of my summer days. Dad prefers spending his time around water sailing a Sunfish (a source of many fond memories), and my Paul gets by with the help of a kickboard or flippers. Just don't ask them to put their heads under water for very long.

And while we’re on the topic of sports, neither Paul is a big sports fan. Sure, Dad is a diehard Ohio State Buckeyes fan and enjoys his breakfasts at Wimbledon, but you won’t find him glued to football games every weekend with his feet up and a beer in hand. Thankfully, I won’t ever find my husband doing that either; memories of his own father talking to (or shouting at) the tv to encourage the players on his favorite teams pretty much ensures that.

Where money is concerned, my father and my husband take a similar approach. They are good savers and shrewd investors. They also share a belief about the stock market – namely, that they have an adverse affect on the stocks that they purchase. If they buy shares of a particular stock, look out – it’s likely to take a dive, they’ll tell you.

And finally, there’s music. While both Paul’s have some musical talent, they are largely tone deaf when it comes to singing. Dad is a self-taught piano player – he learned to “fake” the chords of the left hand by learning some basic chord progressions and plays the melody as written with his right. His playing of the Christmas carols each year was always more reliable than his singing (sorry, dad!). My husband played the clarinet in his school’s marching and concert bands and has been known to sing along with the radio in the car. Although he can carry a tune on his own, he has a knack for singing exactly a half-step off whenever I join in. Strangely, he can sing any church song on pitch (see paragraph 3 above).

So did I marry my father after all? Nope, in the end, the differences far outweigh the similarities. Safe to say that I do not suffer from an Oedipal complex. But there is one last thing my husband and father have in common, one that I am most grateful for: a kind and loving heart. I am lucky to be loved by both!

Excuses, Excuses

As you may have noticed, I haven't written an entry for a while. It's not that I haven't been writing -- there are pages in my notebook that will attest to that -- I just haven't put anything here for a while. I have a whole lot of reasons why not...whether you choose to believe them is up to you.

1) I am saving my fingers for the painting I'm doing around the house.
2) The cat sat on the keyboard of my laptop and refused to move.
3) I was on the phone all day trying to solve the problem of the painted firebox at the new house -- before closing date arrives.
4) I didn't want the computer's fan to contribute to the ongoing heat wave.
5) I spent an entire afternoon trying to figure out how to burn pictures to a CD so I could get reprints and get the wedding album together before our first anniversary.
6) I was fighting off giant spider crickets so I could mop under the stairwell in the basement.
7) I was standing on my head trying to increase the time I can spend in that pose.
8) I was trying to beat my Pac-Man record.
9) The computer ate it.
10) I got distracted....